Okay boys and girls, it's time (again) for you hysterical people to help us at Forefront write a top ten list. We're doing a "Confessions of a Pastor" series and next week will feature
"The Top Ten Things That I, Vince, Would Like To Confess Publicly Today."
Would you help us to come up with some great one's? Here's a few ideas to get you started:
- In the late 70’s I was in a music group you might of heard of . . . The Village People.
- I squeezed the charmin.
- The infamous Black Sox baseball scandal back in 1919, yep, that was me.
- These are not my real arms.
I know you ... you can come up with even better than that! So have it, leave something gut-busting as a comment, and I will forever be indebted to you!
- featured on newchurches.com
17 comments:
I know "where the beef" is!
I'm Roger Clemen's trainer
I didn't really invent the internet.
Albert Gore
I was gay when I was younger, but I am not so happy any more.
I was Pete Rose's bookie!
"My sultry tones really are computer enhanced to make you think I am sexier than I am!"
"We use mirrors on stage to make me look thinner!" - Ouch!
"I stopped coloring my hair to look more like Rich Merritt!" - Double Ouch!
"I have had a secret fantasy about the Wicked Witch of the West since I was 8 years old!"
"I really got a lot more than a T-Shirt when I became a christian; well..., there was this pair of boxers too!"
"I really don't like people at all, but God asks me to Love them, that is why I tap my leg really, really fast when sitting at the table. People think it is nervous energy, but I am just trying to flee from you as fast as I can!"
mmmm..., do you really want more? :-)
-I was in the grassy knoll.
-Crop circles? All me.
-I have an addiction to weekly bar visits.
-I have the nose of The Sphinx in a storage unit.
-I put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp.
-I put the ram in the rama lama ding dong.
-I put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop.
-I put the dip in the dip da dip da dip.
I taught Chuck Norris everything he knows.
I had to stop wearing my wife's bra when she complained that I was stretching it out of shape.
Yes, this is my real face. No, you cannot have your plastic surgeon make you look just like me.
Yes, this is my real face. It earned me extra money during college as a circus sideshow freak.
My kids still believe in the Easter Bunny. And they believe that my day job is a Harlequin Romance Cover Model.
I bought my wife on EBay for 5 cows, 2 goats and a chicken... and that was a really good bargain.
My left hand often doesn't know what my right hand is doing. (Oh yes I do, I just can't repeat what it does in mixed company - Leftie)
Vince Antonucci is a pseudonym. My real name is Julio Iglasias Jr.
My juvenile court records were sealed so that no one will ever know about my frequent arrests for stalking Barry Manilow.
My home planet is the fourth one out from Arcturus so now you know that this stocky body is just the natural result of growing up on a heavy gravity planet.
I frequently forget the words to my sermons, but I'm pretty good at making stuff up to fill in those awkward silences.
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy up all of the Jujubees on the planet and send them to orphanages in Calcutta. After all, orphans deserve to be happy too.
- The Spice Girls are my favorite group.
- I am Legend.
I know what the Ancient Chinese Secret is!
"I'm not only the Hair Club president but I'm also a client."
I was the original model for the He Man cartoon character.
Hooked on phonics, worked for me!
I'm the real San Francisco treat. (I'm sorry, that was just wrong!)
I really want to Wang Chung tonight.
I'm not really a Pastor. I just stay in a Holiday Inn Express on Saturday Nights.
I'm Paris Hilton's new BFF.
I was once imprisoned for ripping a tag off my mattress.
Secretly at night, I have dreams of becoming a Manatee.
I have Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman and the Loch Ness Monster over to my house for a weekly game of twister. I always lose though.
I never wanted to be an Oscar Meyer Wiener. I always wanted to be a can of Spam.
I have a psychological need to steal those plastic things at the end of the shoe laces. That's why you should never leave your shoes around me.
For extra money, I was staging fights between Oompa Lumpas and the Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz until PETA shut me down.
I wouldn't be where I am today with out the influence of my stuffed teddy bear - fuzzykins.
I'm not the real Vince. I was surgically altered to take his place after the real Vince went insane looking for Waldo - in real life. Why do you think my messages have gotten better (or have gotten worse)?
I hold stock in Dunder Mifflin.
I'm the inspiration behind Jack Bauer.
I, I, I, I let the dogs out.
I lip sync my sermons
I'm wearing a thong right now and like it
Shrinkage in cold weather isn't my only problem
I have a George Michael poster over my bed
I lust after James Davis' kia
Dan Pollard always beats me at basketball
I collect celebrity fecal samples.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT FITS THE FOREFRONT POOP FETISH
Vince,
Thanks for the comment. I will be at Whiteboard in May and can't wait! Thanks for the leadership!
Jason
This is tooo Funny man..., stop.., please..., stopp! (ROFL!!!))
One more please!!
"I have this urge to Wedgie everyone I see!"
uh, did you know I wrote a book?
k guys, the secret is out...I am el chupacabra.
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