Bootcamp

Hey future church planters: Have you considered going to church planter bootcamp? It's an intensive time of teaching and working out a plan for starting your church. I know for a lot of people, it's been an invaluable experience.

Interested?

I'm speaking at a great one in June. Check out the details here.

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Church Planting Posts

I love what Bob Roberts is saying on his blog today about local church planting.

By the way, do you know why we so desperately need more new effectively evangelistic new churches? Check out this post and you also may want to see this graph.

And, by the way, the point of church planting is that it is the most effective way to reach large numbers of lost people.

And, by the way, the point of reaching lost people is God's heart. It beats for His children who are far from Him, that's why He sent His Son to bleed for them. The reason we want to reach lost people is because we love God.

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A Horse & Carriage (7 of 7)

Thought I’d share a few posts on your wife for pastors, especially church planters. I don’t mean to be sexist. If you are a female pastor or church planter, more power to ya. I just don’t know anything about being a male spouse of a church planter, so I can’t speak on that…

Okay, last post in this series on a church planter’s spouse and marriage and I want to talk about BOUNDARIES and encourage you to establish some very clear, well defined, strong ones.

First, you need boundaries between your family and your church. Yeah, yeah, I know, your church is your family and we love them and we want to be available all the time. And there is truth in all that, but in other ways, it is not true. Your family is your family, and you need to love them most of all, and be available to them. And if you’re constantly answering the phone or checking your e-mail or setting up appointments on your day off, your family will suffer. You will have a wife and kids who resent you and resent the church. Hopefully they won’t resent God, but chances are they’ll do that too. So you need some boundaries. You need (at least) a day off each week where you are unavailable to your church unless someone dies or strikes oil. You need to not answer the phone or touch your computer at night when you’re hanging with your kids, or when you’re on a date with your spouse. Seriously, don’t just nod your head, do it.

Second, you need boundaries between you and other women. You need to protect your wife from having to ever have a doubt about you, or from experiencing the pain of your adultery, or from even the hint or appearance of something immoral. So set up boundaries that will prevent all that. I don’t mean with women alone, even out in public. If I have to talk to a lady in my office (which almost never happens) I have a big glass wall and an open door so everyone can see what’s going on. I don’t ride in a car if it’s just me and a lady. If I were to show up early for a small group and the only person in the house was a female, I’d sit out on the porch till someone else arrives. I won’t even open the front door of our house to a female if my wife isn’t home. That may sound silly, but I want to guard against even the appearance of immorality. And so if my wife’s friend is dropping off at Tupperwear container, and I open the door, take it, and she walks away – but my neighbor drives up right then and sees me closing the door and this lady walking down my driveway, and notices my wife’s not home – what is my neighbor going to think?

People have made fun of me for how serious I am about the boundaries I’ve put up, and that feels a little weird for me. But not as weird as it would feel to have to explain to my kids and church that I’m getting divorced... I'll take the boundaries anyday.

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A Horse & Carriage? (Part 6)

Thought I’d share a few posts on your wife for pastors, especially church planters. I don’t mean to be sexist. If you are a female pastor or church planter, more power to ya. I just don’t know anything about being a male spouse of a church planter, so I can’t speak on that…

We're nearing the end of this series, and my advice for today: Date your spouse. Again, everyone says that, and it seems like common sense, it’s just not very common. And there are all kinds of excuses: “We don’t have the time.” “We don’t have a babysitter.” “We don’t have the money.” “American Idol is on tonight.” But there is a theological response to each of those objections: Bullcrap! None of that is a good enough reason to not date your spouse.

When you first met and started dating you both showed each other your best sides, you pursued each other, you made sure you have fun together. Then you got married, went into ministry, maybe had a kid … and your marriage feels boring and your wife isn’t exciting and other women seem more alluring. The theological response to that is: Duh! Of course that’s going to happen, because you’ve stopped pursuing each other.

My wife and I totally went through this. When we were first married we made fun of couples who had a “date night” because we had a “date life.” Then ministry and kids happened, and suddenly we didn’t have a date anything. We went to counseling and the guy asked us if things were ever great in our marriage. We said yes and told him about how things were when we were first married. He said, “Well, if you want things the way they were, you need to do what you did.” (Again, duh!)

So we started clearing our schedules to talk or play games several nights a week, and made sure to go on a few dates a month. At first it felt kind of awkward, but pretty soon we were almost back to when things were really good.

So are things boring or even bad in your marriage? Then do the things you used to do. Or if things were never great, you’ll have to do things you never did to get something you’ve never had. Now stop reading this stupid blog, call your wife, and set up a freakin’ date.

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Crazy Love

One of my favorite preachers to listen to is Francis Chan, who is one intense dude - and his intensity is all directed towards Jesus - which is where I want mine to be!

Chan's first book, Crazy Love, just came out. I read it last week and highly recommend it. You know how sometimes people will say, "It was like drinking from a fire hydrant"? Well, this book is like drinking from a baseball bat. It's like Chan holds you down with one hand and beats you with a baseball bat held in the other. And I mean that in the best possible way.

The book is about the greatness of God, but even more about how we should respond to a God that amazing. Chan holds up the standards for true discipleship of Jesus, rather than of the modern-day American church. It's scorching, again in the best possible way.

Go out and get this book, it's challenged me in a way that no other book has in awhile.

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A Horse & Carriage? (Part 5)

Thought I’d share a few posts on your wife for pastors, especially church planters. I don’t mean to be sexist. If you are a female pastor or church planter, more power to ya. I just don’t know anything about being a male spouse of a church planter, so I can’t speak on that…

Here’s another thing I feel strongly about and I think protects your wife: Don’t have expectations for her beyond what you would have for any other mature Christian.

Now if you’re a mature Christian and you attend Forefront, I have certain expectations for you. You’ll practice spiritual disciplines, live in community with other believers, serve, lead, tithe, develop relationships with people who are far from God and invite them to meet Him. Those expectations come from God and His Word. And if my wife isn’t living up to those basic expectations, she has a problem, and I am going to lovingly challenge her on that, just like I would with anyone else.

What I try not to do is have higher expectations for her than I do for everyone else. She’s a mature Christian, so she should live like one, but she’s not a Superwoman – so I shouldn’t expect her to live like one. Of course she’ll probably be more invested in the church than anyone but me, but she’s not me. God didn’t call her to be me, or to be the Lead Pastor of this joint. And it’s not fair for me to expect her to be Superwoman, or to be me.

I also don’t have specific expectations for her, as far as her ministry role. Just because she’s the pastor’s wife doesn’t mean she has to play the piano. (Forefront doesn’t have a piano, so this one is actually pretty easy.) Just because some other pastor’s wife volunteers in the Children’s Ministry, doesn’t mean she has to. Some other pastor’s wives may be real up-front types, but that might not be what God created her to be.

If you’re planting a church, or even if you’re leading an established one, it’s going to be difficult enough on your wife. She doesn’t need any extra pressures, so don’t put higher or more specific expectations on her than what God has for her. Let God be her God, you be her supportive husband.

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Multiplying Church Discussion

Remember a couple weeks ago I did a series of posts on Bob Robert's book The Multiplying Church? Well, someone with even more knowledge and authority on Bob Robert's book is doing a series of posts on that book ... Bob Robert's himself. Want to check it out? You should! Go here to do so...

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